Today I have thought about how much being healthy means not just to as as individuals, but what it means to others in our lives who want the best for our well being as well. There's nothing harder than watching someone you care about make decisions that affect their health in a bad way, which impacts others who are concerned for the situation. I wanted to impart some insights on what has helped me through such times with people I care about, and who care about me.... as well as helped me deal with how clients approach their goals, and bringing about lasting change in their lifestyles for the better.
In relationships... be they with spouses, family, friends, coworkers, and clients... there is a tendency to try to get into power struggles, or manipulate others into reforming to one's own ideas of what "should" or "shouldn't" be. I once heard that every person in life presenting an issue to you is like a mirror. Whichever problems we initially feel are being caused by them, and affecting us, are in truth a mirror of an insight that we need to learn an important lesson for our own selves in order to continue to grow and evolve. We would not have opportunities for this growth if it weren't for our interactions with others, this is something I firmly believe. However... it is also critical to bear in mind that the only outcomes we really have direct control over are our own. We are only responsible for what we have control over... the choices, behavior, and actions of others are not things we have have the ability to directly control. Each person is ultimately responsible for their own destiny.
When it comes to wanting others to change their health, not only for their own good but for the ability to better serve those around them in life... we have a tendency to want to "break the bracket"... we try to force others into change because we've decided they need it, despite whether or not they are ready for it. Patience, my friends, will always achieve more than force. We must embrace the fact that you can never MAKE anyone change, that once you truly understand change and why it is important (on a physical level, or a spiritual or emotional one) you would never want to purposefully force it to come about in any living thing other than your own self. Change and growth is only rewarding because it's something we personally experience and persevere through, not because someone else came along and forced us to get off our keisters. What we CAN do is create an environment for change, and hope that it has a positive impact on those who choose to be a part of it. Remember that the choices of any person belong to them, and them alone. Truth is the only thing that makes a lasting impression on our souls; but sometimes people get discouraged if you slap them over the head with it. Not everyone has a thick skin, an iron will strong enough to lay on a bed of nails. Gently expose it to people. Deep down, they know they can't run from it forever. You cannot hide from it. You must simply be with it, and whatever decisions should possess the paths and hearts of others, so let it be. Set the example for how YOU want to live; and just maybe through your example, IF they choose, people you wish to influence will follow suit for their own betterment. But never can we force this choice upon another. Don't think too far ahead; the answers will come when they are meant to. Don't analyze too much with your mind. Feel with your heart and listen to your intuition. If we look ahead too much at what we yearn for, and behind too much at what has passed, we miss the beauty of the passing moment. When you operate out of this present, awake, aware, "now" frame of mind... you will more easily be able to detect when you might slip into power struggles with others, stop yourself, and determine what the right action is to take for the situation at hand. There are reactions to people and situations, and actions. If you are too caught up in past or future, you can't properly determine the right actions to take at the right time to make the most positive impact on others.
Never miss an opportunity to encourage and also empower someone. Remember that people tend to learn best by doing, not by being told what to do. Instead of saying what must be done, think of a story, an example, an analogy behind the WHY of what you want to impress on the person.... then let the weight of the "what" they should do sink in, for them to put together on their own. Empowerment is the greatest tool we can use to bring about LASTING change for a person who makes a choice and comes to that choice from a place within their own selves, not from outside of themselves. We must master the art of bringing about self realization to those we interact with. If you don't feel that your intentions in a situation are being properly understood... it just means that they need to be asked different questions, or you do. This applies to our endeavors of encouraging others to attain better health and fitness. If we have a goal, or a goal we hope others to attain, but has not yet been attained, consider... what hasn't been tried? What has been ignored, misconstrued, negated, left out? What can factors can be controlled, what cannot? What can be learned from what has already been done, tried, and tested? The more we learn to react less, think critically, and observe without subjective illusion.... the more efficiently we are able to give valuable insights to others for their own growth.... and the better we grow ourselves.
